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Advent already??

I'm usually as giddy as a five year old when it comes to the start of Advent. This year, I just can't believe it's here already. Advent means the year is almost over. And wow, what a year. It's been one of our hardest years in recent memory. I have barely blogged since January, when I shared my optimism for a year of sweetness. In it, I mentioned the need to yield control to God. We had no trouble with that one because the year was completely out of our control. There was nothing to do but trust Him with it and hold on for the ride, in survival mode.

Our year of Sweet turned into a year of Sick almost immediately. Flu, sinus infections, ear infections, and then pneumonia. My husband, who is never sick and who never misses a day of work, was home in bed for a solid month. It wasn't they, "Hey, let's watch Netflix or read a book" kind of time in bed. It was "Please, Lord, let me pass out until this is over" kind of time in bed. That was hard to watch. We didn't crawl out of the sickness hole until March.

I had a cancer scare and a surgery to remove an ovary. My sister had a cancer scare. My precious grandma passed away. My oldest baby left for college.

I feel like there were about fifty million other things that blindsided us, but truly, I was just along for the ride and my knuckles have been gripping the rail pretty tightly.

And here we are, looking at the end of this year that I feel like we never quite started. Did I do it any justice at all? Was I sweet to my children? I honestly couldn't tell you.

At the beginning of the year, I wrote:
Our purpose is to glorify Him and to enjoy Him forever. He is glorified when we yield control. He is glorified when we read His Holy Word and let it change our hearts. He is glorified when we enjoy the sweetness of life He has given.
Yield control: Check (involuntarily, but whatever)
Read the Word: Check (YouVersion Bible App FTW!)
Enjoy the sweetness: *stares at flashing cursor*

Did I enjoy it? I did. 


I didn't realize how much, but yes, yes I did. 

Through the sick months, I was only down for a couple days. I was grateful that I was able to love on my babies. One night, I stayed up all night with my youngest, watching VeggieTales to distract from the pain, dosing her in hopes of keeping her ear from bursting, and massaging her ear until I thought my hand would fall off. That is a precious memory now.

Through my cancer scare, I was really able to examine a lot and realize how good I've had it. I've lived my dream-come-true life. 

My Grandma was an amazing woman. It hurt so much to lose her, though we had been losing her for years due to Alzheimers. We were able to celebrate a very precious life this summer.

My son left for college and my world changed, but we were able to send him off without fear. He's a good man. Things have turned out well. He loves God and really, that's all that matters. 

We took our first family vacation without him, which was hard, but we took that vacation to the Smoky Mountains to celebrate the wedding of my sister. It was magical. All of my sisters are married to good men. They are happy. This makes me so happy. 

Last night, we began our first day of Advent, our first without my oldest son. It's hard not to look around and see how much is still yet to change. We have 3 more babies that are going to follow his lead and leave home. We will one day be celebrating Advent alone. But that is as it should be. They will be celebrating Advent with their families. And then I'll one day be celebrating Advent with grandchildren. I'm told that makes it all worth it.

Time to man up and jump in. Accept the year for what it was, all the good and all the rough. In hindsight, it's hard to say that any of it was bad. 
So here we go. Advent 2016. 

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"Man lives by affirmation even more than by bread." - Victor Hugo