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Down in the Valley

I still don't have internet at the farm.

You may have noticed the lack of activity on this blog lately. It's been hard, people. Hard.

I had a few writing assignments I had signed up for, so I've made trips to town to mooch interwebz access from generous family members. If you're just bored and desperate to read something I've written, here are those articles:

Quiet at Christmas

Christmas with a Jesse Tree

Effective Copywork

And here is the story of how we did NOT get internet from the phone company:

Four hours on the phone, after several days of phone tag.

"All right," she says, "I just need an address to sign you up now."

"Sure! Route XYZ Box XYZ."

"Um, is that an address?"

"Well, we get mail here."

"But there isn't a street name."

"Well, no. I guess not. It's on County Road XYZ."

"And your house number?"

"Yeah, I don't have one of those."

"That's not possible."

"Um....I'm here."

"Yes, but I need an address. Like 911...what would be your 911 location?"

"Yeah, they don't have that here."

"Excuse me?"

"Doesn't exist."

"How is that possible?"

"Have you ever seen the movie Funny Farm?"


"I'm living it."

(no sense of humor) "I just need an address and my computer will not accept that route as an address. What did the other companies you signed up with accept as an address."

"When I signed up for propane, they asked me to draw a picture on the back of my application."


"There's been a phone here at this address for 40 years and someone found it at some point. Could we just try the Route & Box # with the County Road as my address?"

(an hour of her researching and then calling me back)

"Okay, we've entered your address and have scheduled a technician to visit next week to confirm you are there."


They wanted to confirm that I was not making it up, that I indeed exist, and there is a house there.

Well, we received a letter yesterday informing us that their technician decided it isn't possible. There are houses all around us with internet with this company, but our particular house doesn't actually exist, apparently. 

There is currently a satellite guy at my house installing something or other. I will hopefully be updating you soon.


  1. I enjoyed reading the dialogue as you tried to prove your house exists and that you want internet. I hope you are able to connect soon.

    1. Thank you, Beth! Satellite did the trick, but our computer gave the death rattle and I still can't confect, but hopefully that will be fixed soon.

  2. Welcome to the Ozarks Ponderosa nestled smack in the middle of Nowhere USA where Ug still uses rock instead of hammer.

    So glad ya'll are here!

    God bless your day just a hoot and holler away!!! :o)

  3. My bad...that would be whoop and holler. Hair color showin'???? Heeehehehe!!!

    1. I like the sound of 'hoot and holler'! It's fun!


"Man lives by affirmation even more than by bread." - Victor Hugo